Aidonian's blog

Couple of days ago someone on Threads stated that a woman doing Onlyfans & expect respect, to which I replied “why not? Is it too hard to respect another human being?”

That statement which is rooted in the notion that people should be respected regardless if you agree with them or not or with their decisions. There are exceptions to this rule, but for this, I would state that I respect the women who are doing Onlyfans and will show kindness to them as they are also human beings, regardless whether or not I agree with their choice to do Onlyfans or not. This seems to be a trigger for men with fragile egos who attacked me for it. I’m not defending Onlyfans here. Because I feel that a debate on Onlyfans should be a debate where women who are using Onlyfans are included in it. Instead of talking about them, we should talk with them as to why they are using that platform. I think that they all have different reasons for using that platform. Mostly for financial security, and it seems that pornstars use Onlyfans to have more creative control on what they are doing and how they are doing it. Especially since women still earn less in job market than their male counterparts.

I was ridiculed, mocked, insulted for daring to state that I will show kindness and respect for women doing Onlyfans because they are humans. I can only imagine what kind of insults women receive on social media.

It’s not my place to judge the women who are doing Onlyfans. They will have their own reasons for doing it. So long as they don’t hurt anyone else, they have the right to do so. Seeing the replies I got, it is clear that these men dehumanize these women because they exploit their sexuality for financial gains. For them it is easy to dehumanize them as “whores” so that they can do whatever with them as they like seeing how they don’t even view them as human beings. 

More than dehumanizing these women, they seem to have a hatred for women rooted in conservative & sexist beliefs that women are inferior and only useful for reproduction. I’m guessing here since most replies didn’t really went beyond insults at my character for daring to show kindness and respect for these women and to see them as human beings. 

I’ve been called a simp, scumbag, disgrace for humanity, delusional, all these are from one user who claimed to be more intelligent than me, but didn’t show it by throwing insults at me. That comes from a man who claimed to be a good debater and intelligent men but doesn’t get any further than hurling insults. This man projected himself on me, that I was trying to protect “my OF girls” even though I had stated that I did not use the platform. Soemthing he has missed it seems. Still, after a while, I gave up on debating with him and started trolling him. Debating with such a man is a waste of time and energy and I had wasted enough time and energy on this pittiful excuse of a human being.

It seems that a man showing respect and kindness for women will face mockery and insults on social media because for these men it’s easy to hate women who are doing Onlyfans or sexworkers, any women on what they considered the fringes of society. This is not only towards these women, but all women on social media deal with these kinds of harassment. Don’t get me wrong. I’m no saint and will never claim to be one. I have made mistakes in the past where I will learn from.

Damned if they do, damned if they don’t. On social media, women can’t win. Show too much, they are whores. Don’t show much, they will be ridiculed. This is the double standard I referred to in the title. Even men are held to a double standard. Athletic men are allowed to show their body. Anyone with a certain percentage of body fat will be ridiculed. 

Social media like Instagram, FB, Threads, X (formerly Twitter) is the playground for misogynists, Andrew Tate/ Jordan Peterson fanboy’s  It’s easy to say to ignore these misogynists but by doing that, it’s giving them free reign of social media where women won’t feel safe. 

I get that women who are on Onlyfans, rarely want to interact with people on social media and prefer to do it just on their Onlyfans because it’s safer there. They have more control than anywhere else. The rise of toxic masculinity on social media is due to a certain  douchebag called Andrew Tate, who is looked upon by men with fragile egos, incels, and whatnot that the reason why everything is going wrong in the world is due to the rights that women have gotten. Trump is also seen as a hero for these men because he has preyed on young women. For these men, equal rights for women is seen as something bad. They don’t want that. They want to turn back time to the 1950’s where women didn’t have any rights and where men were the sole providers. Now these men have to add more to the table for women to be interested in them as a partner as these women most likely don’t need them for financial security. And that troubles them because their character or lack thereof is insufficient for women to date these men. So instead of looking inwards and working on themselves, they decided to stick their heads in the sand and blame women for their problems of not being able to get a partner. 

So if we want social media to be a safe space for women, men have to speak out against these men that their behavior is not ok. Granted, there are also women who participate in this behavior. I get that many feel uncomfortable with this but this is for all women. If we allow one group of women being ridiculed, shamed, we set the gates open for all women to be ridiculed and shamed and that is happening already now. As march the 8th approaches, we need to stand up for all women, even men against the abusers on social media, but also stand up for them in their fight against sexism, misogony, for equal rights, equal pay.