Aidonian's blog

I don’t know why it is, but it seems that I’m more openminded when it comes to sexuality than most of people I know. I can’t stand the double standard that exists for men and women when it comes to sex. Women are considered sluts if they enjoy sex and have multiple partners but are called prudes if they don’t accept the offer of a man to have a ONS. 

When Harvey Weinstein was arrested the whole #metoo movement started that kicked in the shins of the establishment and #metoo was ridiculed because women waited so long to do something. The men weren’t criticised or barely, but the women were shamed for coming out. Yet these very same people are shocked when women or girls are molested but when a public figure is criticised, they turn against the same women who spoke out. 

In ancient Hellas women for the most part were under control of the male relatives. While women of nobility were less free than their working class counterparts mostly due to practicality of it. in ancient Sparta women enjoyed more freedom than let’s say in Athens.  While they didn’t have the freedom to choose who their partner becomes, they did have the right to divorce their husband. 

prostitution was legalised and accepted in among Athens. Solon is said to have legalised it to prevent young men from assaulting the girls. In doing this, he created two classes of women: one to marry and one to fornicate with. The latter, like today are prevented from enjoying a normal life. A girl or woman who joins this profession is excluded from society, same like today. The men who joined this profession were more ridiculed than women. They couldn’t stay long in this profession like their female counterparts because the men who enjoyed their company preferred them to be young. 

Since most of the people entering this profession were slaves or people put outside of society, one can not speak of it that they chose it freely. It was legalised to collect taxes and to set prices so anyone could visit a brothel. Here we can speak that the women were forced into it. There is no freedom of choice here. 

The same can be said of women and men who become pornstars, escorts, etc….

Most start with a curiosity but stay because of the cashflow that is relatively easy. One can not ignore the social and psychological toll this work has on them. They receive a stigma that they can’t escape from. 

Even today most who join this profession don’t do it voluntarily. There are those who do, but one has to wonder if doing it out of economic reasons is choosing it voluntarily? 

Those who use their services must also think twice about this. Its an ethical conundrum here. 

France and couple of Scandinavian countries want to outlaw it and make it illegal to visit brothels. While conservatives are happy with this victory, the reality is that this is a bad decision. Bad for the women. They will be forced underground, far away from the spotlight where they are more at risk than before. Belgium has legalised it. Which in itself is good, but they don’t do enough to punish the rapists. Legalise sex work is one thing. But there must also be a legal framework where sex workers are protected and don’t have to fear to be judged when they report being assaulted. That proces is slow, mostly because it makes men in power nervous that they can’t do anything they want to anymore. The justice department in Belgium is outdated and understaffed and funded. To change the  penal code is a long process because most don’t bother with it. They want quick victories so that they can go online boast about what they did during their time in office. The reality is that most Belgian politicians only care about their wins, not what is good for society. If they start something that someone else can finish, they don’t like that. They want to claim it. 

The profession of prostitution is also linked to the Goddesses Venus, Aphrodite and even Inanna/Ishtar. As Goddess of love, eroticism and sexuality people turn to Them to honour it by expressing it. I have my doubts about the Stories of sacred prostitution in the temples of Aphrodite/Venus/Ishtar. I wonder if its not someone fantasy than actual history? 

If you look at the world, history of patriarchy, you clearly see that it has a problem with women enjoying their sexuality and have the freedom to chose their partners or when they have children. You can point all you want at the Middle East, but some parts of The Netherlands or US – like Texas – want to stop women from choosing when they have children by removing the option of having an abortion. 

The Goddess Aphrodite/ Venus wants people to express and enjoy their sexuality. No one will agree that, but today when it comes online, people instant have a problem with it. They don’t want to see it. They condemn the people participating in it and watching it. 1600 years of sexual oppression is not washed away that easily. It seems that when one generation becomes more accepting of this, the next will become more prudish. I think most likely as way to “rebel” against the older generation. 

With the rise of apps like instagram, a new kind of model rose up who differ from the traditional view of what is considered a model. Most label them as plus-size while they look normal. Most of them get so many questions if they have onlyfans that they join that platform, first out of curiosity. Than as a extra means to gain income. I joined the platform for a little while and followed a couple of these models to see what’s its about. Several days later I quit the platform, not because I was disgusted by it or disapproved of it. I don’t. I quit because I got bored with it. No really, I got bored by it. It is what it is. My curiosity was satisfied and I moved on. I personally don’t get what people see in it. But there is appearently a market for it. And from what i can gather, the models do have a freedom there to do what they want to do. I do realise that women don’t like that their partner or friend watches these things. Its always best to take your friends or partner’s feelings into consideration when watching these things  and if you want it publicly known that you do this. 

Is it wrong to sell your body for money? 

Conservatives might look at it and say that it is wrong to do that. But if the woman choses to do so, who are we to say that it is wrong? Its her choice obviously. Its easy to condemn it. But like prostitution, pornography has also been around for thousands of years. Its both patriarchal machinations that have a means to an end. But the excuse that its wrong to sell your body for money is a false one. everyone does it. When we go to work, we sell our body to the company in exchange for a paycheck. The only difference is that with pornography is that its about sex, something that is usually intimate. There are those who don’t have a problem with participating in it. 

Prostitution is not going away. Instead of making it illegal and forcing it into the underground, we must legalise it. By creating a legal framework where they can operate in it, the women will be protected by the law if something bad happens to them, they get health benefits, but the downside is that they have to pay taxes as well. And that is one reason why goverments want to legalise it.   

In the west, we have evolved to a society where one can even express their own sexuality and explore their view on gender and what it means for them leading to new breakthroughs in how we view gender and sex. There are two sexes: male and female, but apparently there are many types of genders. 

I’m considered “normal” by which I mean that im considers a heterosexual cismale. I don’t have to understand all these type of genders. I just have to accept it. Its part of our nature.  

 People who worship Aphrodite/Venus will probably be more open minded towards sex work as they are called to support them. I don’t worship Aphrodite as my main deity, but I do support sex work. 

I don’t think that anyone who worships Aphrodite would go in the sex trade by choice as another way to worship their Goddess. I would find that somewhat hard to believe if someone would do that. Its unlikely, but somehow I feel that it is not something that I can rule it out. If the person feels that by doing that they can honour their Goddess in that way, why not? 

Why? They have a certain function in society that needs it. We can pretend all we want, but unfortunately our society has gotten to a point where we need it. People who are disabled, have a mental disability. I know a co worker who had a grown up son with a mental state of a 5 year old. He still had urges of a grown up man. So they took him to a prostitute every now and then. 

Sex work is also beneficial for people with not the social skills to have a traditional relationship. Most prostitutes also have a hard time finding a good relationship because of the work they do. Similar to what porn stars face. 

In Ancient Greece and Rome, sex work was used as a means for keeping men away from girls and married women. These sex workers were mostly slaves, sometimes also freed men or women who were down on their luck and needed money to survive. Its curious to see that this has not changed in more than 2000 years. Today sex workers in the trade are either forced in it by force or by economically uncertainty. There could also be other reasons why they chose to go into this profession that i can’t think of. Those who weren’t forced into it, might have their own stories as they how and why they started.

Back then and now, people in the sex trade are stigmatised. That stigma comes from the illegality of their trade and the moral knights who want to condemn it publicly but privately take pleasure in participating in it. Its ok to have moral objections to it. But outlawing it, does not mean it will be gone. It will go underground and put the sex workers at more risk. They are then more at risk for rape, physical assaults, being killed. If they are forced in it by someone, then every client is raping them. That’s is a the reality of it. By making it illegal that is not going to stop. 

By taking it out of illegality, than they can be protected by law. I’m not talking about a special course in college where people learn how to do to. No, although it wouldn’t be bad to talk about it in social sciences classes in a effort to remove the stigma. By removing it out of illegal circuit, the sex worker needs health benefits so they can go to a doctor, to the cops without fear of judgement or be arrested for their trade. 

Sex workers need and deserve equal rights, just as anyone else. some might find it morally repulsive. I understand it. This is not for everyone. I’m not going to call it a calling. Its not. It serves a function in society just like pornstars do or nude models do. By creating a legal framework where they can work in, we can help them and protect them from criminals. No government should be actively involved in it. They can raise taxes on it, like in Ancient Rome and Greece was the case. Just like with women’s rights, we see that conservatives want to undermine it. In certain states in US, its illegal to have a abortion. Its not about health, but about power over women’s sexuality and reproduction. 

By function I mean,that some men never get the chance to date or be in a relationship and this way they experience a form of intimacy that they wouldn’t know otherwise. By making it illegal, we run at risk of turning them into sexual frustrated men. Incels don’t help make this case here. But its different when they activly chose to not hire their services. Not just them, think of disabled people who still have sexual urges, but can”t get it the ordinary way. Do we allow them to suffer?

I get that this topic will make people uncomfortable but it is something that needs to be discussed in a good way. An open debate about the topic is needed with the focus on the sex worker and not about morality of it. We need to hear more from sex workers and how they see it and what they think is needed to change things?

In Belgium there is one sex worker who is quite famous on tiktok where she teaches sex ed to teenagers. Her account got suspended a couple of times. Prudes seem set to attack sex workers everywhere they come across. I get that some people get nervous when a sex worker gives sex ed to teenagers. Its a grey area.

Belgium recently made the move to decriminalise sex work. Which is a good first step. The move to do was more invented by the cash flow in that sector than anything else. If you look at women’s rights, abortion, etc… its clear that the powers to be want to be in control of women and their bodies. When famous men are subjected to allegations of abuse, especially when they abused women, the women are not believed, ridiculed even. The idea is that the man is the victim and the real victims are doing it for money, fame, etc… I digress a bit.